Project Mr. Right

DINNER AND A DINER

iPod set to Oasis’s, Digsy’s Dinner

It was Tuesday and I had two hours to kill before my group practice.  So what’s a girl to do when a perfectly nice Africa Boy offers to make her dinner?  Ah, say yes?!?!  A girl’s gotta eat.  The digs:  I must say he had a pretty sweet apartment.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a bachelor pad, but what else can one expect.   On the plus side he lived alone in a hot part of down town, had artwork from all over the world, several instruments he actually knew how to play and tons of interesting books.  Down side I would have to say would be the lofted bed.  (Ah, cause it’s not as much fun to jump on a lofted bed.  I mean, cause that’s what people do on beds, ah, mom, ah, mom you don’t have to read ALL of these you know…)  But no, I didn’t jump on his bed, mostly because I needed to get to rehearsal. 

And after rehearsal Professor Guy wanted to get a bite to eat.  I might have to go on Jenny Craig if this keeps up.  Really, I’m stuffed!  It was a fun time and he asked me to come up to his neck of the woods this weekend for dinner.  Again with the food!

Well with a first date set for the coming weekend there is only one thing to do next…try another meeting men tactic.  I stand firmly by my position that you must do things that interest you first and hope to find someone there second.  I mean, I could find a man and fall totally in love with him, but if I found him while ice fishing I just don’t think we’ll have much in common in the long run. 

I do sometimes like to go a little outside of my normal interests though.  I like politics and I love my city so although I don’t usually seek out political discussions when I heard about a panel discussion about our mayor and the way he runs the city I thought well, why not!  So tomorrow I’ll be putting my political hat on and sitting in to hear all about why our mayor is so or not so great, depending on the speaker.  Maybe I’ll meet my future man who’s into politics enough to keep me informed and not so much that I want to cut off his cable subscription.  I’ll let you know if discussion venues are a good place to meet men or if you’re better off with a copy of The Economist and a glass of wine. 

TWO MORE SPIDERS AND I'M OUTTA HERE

iPod set to George Strait's, Arkansas Dave

Wow, the last four days blew by so fast I don’t even know where to start.  Let’s see, the most interesting guy in Little Town, Arkansas turns out to be their 80-year-old mayor.  And that’s not to say the other guys are boring, it’s to say that I’ve never seen an 80-year-old with so much energy.  And I’ve never been given a key to the city before so that scored him a ton of points.  Yes, I have a key to the city of Little Town, Arkansas and no, I’m not going to tell you how I got it. 

Next on the list of man situations would be rooming with my friend’s boyfriend in the oh so romantic cabin in the woods.  I’m not kidding, even Jane Austin couldn’t have done this place justice.  It was ro-man-tic.  Well, right up till Friend’s Bohboh pointed out the hundred species of spiders that would be waiting outside our door starting sundown.  Ah!  Not so romantic an evening anymore.  Actually Friend’s Bohboh turned out to be the older brother I never had so I spent most of the oh so not romantic cabin time wondering if I’d wake up to find toothpaste in my hair or Sharpie markings all over my face.  

All the excitement did keep me from emailing or calling any of the lovely men back home…ok, I had almost no time to myself and with people in the room at every minute I wasn’t about to get out my little black book and start dialing.  (Hmm, note to self, buy little black book…so apropos.)  

There was a cute Memphis boy there during the weekend, but really, I just don’t think I can do the long distance thing right now so Memphis will have to wait. 

The real fun came after I returned home…but I’ll have to write about that tomorrow…oh, so tired.  ;)

GOT CAUGHT OUTSIDE THE BOX

Arkansas was loads of fun, but I must say I'm one tired girl...full report tonight.

LOOKING OUTSIDE THE BOX

New York is an amazing city, but it might not be the best place to snag a keeper.  Most of the guys are used to getting bigger, better and newer just around the corner and they carry that into their dating lives thinking even if they have a great girl a better one is right around the corner.  And even if she’s not better than the current girl, she is different and more importantly she is new. 

This weekend I find work taking me outside the city—waaaaaaay outside the city.  We’re talking Arkansas out of the city.  I don’t even know if I can find it on the map!  Ok, yes, I can find it on the map.  Question is, when I get there what will I find on the dating scene.  We’ll see.

MEN, LIKE SHOES, ARE BEST FOUND IF YOU SHOP AROUND

iPod set to The Miracle's, Shop Around

I went to the U2 concert with Africa Boy and I have to say that both the concert and the guy were tops.  U2 was obviously amazing and even better was the fact that our tickets were super close.  Not bad I must say.  And Africa Boy was adorable and with the crazy crowd during the concert he made sure I was always out of harms way and could see and all that…points!  I woke up this morning (in my own bed…I’m so lame.  But in my defense it’s one of the things the authors point out in What Men Want.  You gotta wait…what’s the rush.) and it was like a new crush.  I wanted to email him and text him and set up plans for next time…all the stuff that suddenly becomes super important and must happen right now when a crush sets in.  But then the greatest thing happened. 

 

I went online and Professor Guy had emailed.   In an instant I was taken in a completely different direction.  In one email he gave me his number so we could chat and then suggested meeting up outside of dance team practice.  Now I was spinning in Professor Guy’s direction.  Such a great email and yes, he’s hot.  If I was the type to doodle my first name with his last name I’d have crossed out the one with Africa Boy and started writing my name with Professor Guy’s name. 

And that’s when I realized that this is the ONLY way to date.  I jumped onto my eHarmony account and saw that an actually decent guy had started “communication” with me.  Communication is eHarmony’s way of saying, “ok, you can talk to this guy through our step by step process and if by the end of the 73 various steps you want to actually meet him we just might let you.”  I think it’s both a test to see if you like the guy and a test to see if you have the stamina for marriage, since they are supposed to be the site for people serious about commitment.  Anyhow, my eHarmony future soulmate was tall, athletic and a surgeon/Immunologist.  Immunologist is a doctor who works on people’s immune systems which is perfect because I’ve been looking for a way to become immune to guys’ bull sh#&@*t.  Maybe Dr. Harmony could help.  At any rate over the course of the day we made it through over half of the questions.  Counts for something.   

I used to think that guys who dated lots of women all at once were slime…ok, they are slime, but there is something to be said about checking out more than one pair of shoes at a time.  I mean, just because one looks great with your Saturday night miniskirt doesn’t mean it’s going to work out for that all day picnic.  And sometimes the price is more than you are willing to pay and other times it’s comfortable, but boring.  You never really know until you give them a test run.  That way you don’t make any snap decisions that land you with a big bill, sore legs and nothing that matches.  What you want is a pair that goes with your LBD (little black dress) or one that goes with your favorite jeans and t-shirt.  But you’ve gotta shop around.  *Shopping reference curtisy of Janice Lieberman’s book How to Shop for a Husband.  Check it out.   I think I’m going to keep checking out these guys and see who ends up being the one who matches my outfits the best.  And then of course, there will be others…it’s New York City!

BASIC DATING RULES CHECK-IN

I thought it would be a good time to check in with the BASIC DATING RULES list my spankin' smart friend created.   

Let's see how I'm doing so far...I'm loaded up with meeting and dating men so I can't really focus on only one guy (#1), haven't known any one guy long enough to worry about numbers 2, 4 or 5 and with my schedule filling up he must have a plan (#3) because I just don't have the time to do the planning for us!

1.  Do not chase boys.

2.  Men don't change.

3.  He must have a plan.

4.  If he doesn't know who he is, I don't want to know him.

5.  If you think you've found "the one", check again.

PLUGGING ALONG

iPod set to U2's, I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight

Here I am doing this project and I can’t help but think that it goes against all the romantic ideals I have about finding “the one”.  Isn’t he supposed to find me?  And won’t he find me when I’m not looking and I’m just doing things I love to do?  For so many people that’s how the story goes.  For me, well…for me I take a class, pay good money to do something fun, and by the end of the class I’ve got some nob sitting down next to me preparing to ruin the next four months of my life.  Or I get talking to some amazing guy while waiting in line for water in Central Park.  And he’s amazing, almost as amazing as the leggy blond who joins him minutes later. 

This weekend I went to visit a friend down south and to my surprise I found the gate area for my flight to be stocked full of what looked like cute single men.  Hmm, I’ve heard tell of such meetings on airplanes, which turn into true romance.  (I’ve also heard of a three-legged Cyclopes.)  So where do I sit?  Oh yeah, in the middle seat with a 300 lb woman on one side and a mother with her adorable (read: lungs that could deafen an army) baby on the other side.

The weekend might have been a bust as far as men go, but it did give me the much needed girl time so I could be ready to hit the ground running back in NYC, not to mention the reminder that not everything falls in your lap.  I might have to hit some guy over the head and drag him back to my cave, but if he’s the right one then it’s worth the trouble.

Africa Boy called to solidify plans for tomorrow.  Ah, there’s nothing like a man with a plan.  Really, it’s hot.  He has a nice voice too.  I’m meeting him tomorrow after work and we’re off to the concert…sweet! 

Tonight I had my dance class and to my good fortune Professor Guy was feeling well enough (from last week’s motorcycle accident) to attend.  Ah, I must say he is a cutie.  I mean great smile, great laugh, yeah, I’m totally going to mess this one up.  Soooo cute!  We chatted in class and danced once, but after class ended I bolted out the door.  Not entirely my fault as my friend has a car and it’s so much nicer to ride home with her than alone on the train.  But it also extends the amount of time it will take to get to know Professor Guy.

Now that I’ve got those two situations on autopilot I think it’s time to plan “Wii” night.  My friend AJ and I met some people (including a cute lawyer from the west coast) on a river rafting trip we took this summer.  We’ve been planning to do a night of Wii and drinking and AJ seems to think that I should hook up with River Dude.  My first thought is no, he isn’t really my type, but since this is the year of “yes”, here we go!

STACKING THE DECK

Originally Africa Boy asked me out for a drink on Monday night.  Then when he called with U2 tickets for Wednesday I was thrilled.  Right up to the part where we were  set for two dates within three days.  How am I supposed to keep up with my “oh so busy and important” façade and still be available twice in one week?  And to be honest, my life is a complete mess right now so I need the extra night.  Thus, I sit here typing instead of rolling home after another evening of drinks and conversation.  Wow, I canceled a date in order to seem unavailable.  What is this, The Rules?  No, not that!  But I know me and a night of drinking, well, more drinks equals less, ah, conversation…a little thing I learned in college, but insisted on testing the theory late into my twenties.  So I’m holding off till Wednesday night to see what Africa Boy is all about. 

In the meantime I’ll be seeing Professor Guy tomorrow at dance team practice.  Wow, he’s hot too.  Focus Jane, focus!!! 

Ok, online dating is my main focus right now, and although I have more than I can handle currently, well, why not.  I’ve been getting various interests on eHarmony.  So I really should give that a go.  The problem with eHarmony is that by the time you get through all the back and forth questions, the interest is gone.  It’s like dating without going out.  By round three of the screening process I’m already out the door.  So it might take a little time. 

Here’s another question…to JDate or not to JDate.  I was going to let my friends do this and report back, but this is my project so I think I have to go for it.  But what am I supposed to write?  “Shiksa Chick looking for the perfect Mench Man?”  Well, as Marilyn Monroe always said, “Did you ever notice that ‘what the hell’ is always the best answer?”  So it looks as though I’m going to wade through the waters of neurotic Jews in hopes of finding that magical stereotype…that family oriented, endlessly faithful, fabulous in bed, stand up Mench…maybe my future husbmench is just waiting for me now!

 

BLOG MAKEOVER

iPod set to George Harrison's, Beautiful Girl

Super Cool Chick Caroline gave my blog a Makeover.  What do you think of my new profile illustration?  Cute girl or what?  I'm just sayin'. 

Thanks Caroline!  xoxo

SECOND TIME'S A CHARM

Match.com:  Match #2 - iPod set to U.S.A. for Africa, We Are the World

I'm not very good at Internet dating.  It tends to mirror my real life dating.  I see the picture, read the profile and then get all excited when someone cute emails or winks at me.  I day dream about all the adventures we'll have, the dynamic duo we'll become and how I'll never have to go on another first date again.  A few days later I meet him.  I spend an hour rewinding my adventure  story and then try to stay focused on our conversation while running tomorrow's grocery list through my head.  Back to square one.

I had failed to check my profile for ten days, possibly because I was recovering from the experience with 007 or maybe because I was busy flirting with Professor Guy on Facebook--maybe both.  But when I did finally force myself back into action I found a particularly interesting email.  This guy had spent the past three years doing criminal justice work in, ready for this...Africa.  Hello cool!  (Africa is by far the first place I would live outside the U.S.)  I read on and found that Africa Boy was not only interesting, but he also filled a few of my own personal "likes" for a Mr. Right prospect.  Good enough reason to agree to a date...not to mention my fridge was empty...a girl's gotta eat.

A true scheduling nightmare as it always is with busy New Yorkers, but somehow I found myself walking south on Broadway and 68^th street at 9pm on a Monday night.  We were meeting for a drink.  A 9pm drink!  I was sure this guy would think I was up for a "good time" if a late night drink was the first date.  In reality, I was up for my pillow, my PJs and about four Excedrin.  As I entered the bar I recalled that Peter's (on the upper west side) is known for being a pickup bar.  Then again, it's the only bar in the 60s so I guess it could be known for a number of things.  When I walked in I was a bit shocked.  He actually looked like his picture.  For reals!  Not super tall, but taller than me, athletic build, brown eyes, nice smile, and my fa-vo-rite trait, a full head of soft brown hair. (I really don't know why but looking back at the boyfriends of Dating Past I like that floppy brown hair look.  You know, if they grew it out a few inches it would be kinda skater-like.  Child of the early nineties I guess.)

I think we had a good time too.  Two glasses of wine, conversation flowing and already he was being a complete brat in that teasing, cute kinda way.  I came to find out that the day I emailed him back was the last day of his Match.com membership.  (True, I checked.)  Maybe this online thing isn't a modern day version of The Brazen Bull torture device after all.  (Medieval Ages torture device.  Horrible, yet not as bad as dating in Manhattan.)

I was in bed a little after midnight (MY bed...goodness!) and feeling like dating isn't all that bad. 

UPDATE:  It must not be all bad...I'm going to see U2 this week...floor seats.  Hmm, Africa Boy might not have had a horrible time either.  ;)