THE 007 OF THE UPPER WEST SIDE

HEAD COUNT! 

Ok, it's mid-September and I've said I'll meet, go out with or get to know at least 10 guys a month.  So it's time for a role call.  In the starting lineup we have:

River Dude – met river rafting, hung out in a group, making plans for a group Wii night

Dr. Fun – met sky diving, only in NYC for a month

007 – match.com round one, three dates...and scene.

Professor Guy – on my dance team, trying not to sleep with him (i.e. lose interest or F@#*k it up) before I get to know him (definite Mr. Right potential)

Silver Shadow – met in Montauk (facebooked me back home)

Africa Boy – match.com round two, one date and another set up for next week

*Since I had the Backbone handicap for the month of August I’m going to roll September and August into one.

Professor you know, and Silver Shadow is the guy who was chatting me up (read: lurking around) as we watched Jamie learn how to talk to guys at a bar.  (He facebooked me two days ago.  It took him that long to find me?)  River Dude and Dr. Fun I’ll get into later.   Right now I’ll continue with yesterday’s theme of Internet dating.  (sound effect: dun, dun, dun!)

Match.com Match #1 - iPod set to Billy Strange, The James Bond Theme Song

Ok, so I had my account all set up and spent days walking down the Internet aisles perusing various men. How to choose?  I did a few searches but “rubs my smelly feet” or “can’t wait to do laundry” just didn’t get any results.  I’d been looking at several profiles and two of the guys I was eying emailed me. This is where expert shopping meets “what the hell”.  I figured it was time to take the plunge.  After all, a girl’s gotta eat!  I thought I’d start off with 007.    This guy was smart.  No joke, like MIT PhD. smart.  And he did everything right…at first.  We emailed the appropriate number of emails asking questions and trying to sound witty without looking like we were trying to sound witty.  Then we moved to the phone.  We spoke twice, set up a date and spoke again before we met for a drink.  I have to say in the texting-email age it was confusing to have a guy call just to talk.  Date number one went well.  We did drinks.  He was nice and easy-going.  I didn’t feel any spark by his appearance, but I’ve heard the “spark” can come a little after you talk to a guy.  (Brad Pitt excluded.)  Date number two, I got flowers and dinner.  It was my birthday that week.  I mean wow, flowers on a second date are amazing, but remembering my birthday?  What, was he like listening to me talk on our first date?  A man who listens?  And then the third date arrived.  (again: dun, dun, dun!)

Let me preface this by saying that I am a fun girl.  I snowboard, skydive, hike, travel, you name it.  But I do lean towards the “play by the rules” motto.  Lean?  Ok, I jump towards it. 

We met at the big Sony movie theater on the west side and he started apologizing right away.  He had bought tickets online for the theater on the east side.  I suggested we jump in a cab, but he wanted to try and get into the movie with the printed out tickets anyhow.  I figured we could play dumb if they noticed so yeah, ok.  And we got in.  Phew.  But then the theater was packed.  Nothing together, only the very front side seats were open.  He said we should go to the next showing that started in 45 minutes.  Ahhh, ok.  Now at this point I just figured it would be easier to pay the $20 bucks and buy tickets for the 8:30.  But 007 here had other plans.  Cut to: I’m standing in the back corner of the theater trying to blend into the wall as everyone from the previous movie exits.  And 007 is just chatting away like this is normally where two people hang out and get to know each other.  “You know, I think the cleaners are going to kick us out anyway.”  “No, no, no, it’ll be fine.”  Twenty seconds after the last patron left we were escorted out of the theater and to the back of the line we went.  I heard a few people at the front snicker. 

At this point the “good grades girl” in me was starting to freak a little.  My heart was pounding as the ticket taker glanced at our wrong theater, wrong time paper tickets.  But then somehow we were in!  Big sigh!  I relaxed in the nice middle-of-the-row center seat and waited for the previews (which are the best part of any movie of course).  Right when the lights were supposed to go down, instead they went up, like all the way up.  And a parade of managers entered and announced that there were people in the theater who were not supposed to be there and they wanted everyone to take out their tickets and if the time didn’t match up they’d kick you out. 

My temperature hit 103 in under ten seconds.  I looked up, down and around trying to figure out the quickest, quietest escape route as the managers made their way towards us.  Ten rows, seven rows, three rows, and then at that point having moved several people around to open up some seats they were satisfied to have everyone seated and left the theater.  We were safe.  The movie started and it was over.  Oh, was it over!

I ask you…thinking like a guy…it’s your third date, you’ve done flowers and dinner and all that jazz leading up to this, and you’re thinking “I’m gonna get third date sex tonight” or at least “I’m gonna get third date as far as I can go tonight”.  Now, if you saw that your date was uncomfortable with a situation would you keep going or just put down the $20?  I mean, he said his apartment had a view.  I was curious.  Was.  But instead, a few days later I sent the necessary communication in order to politely break things off.  (Oh, and Jamie…it wasn’t exactly a deal breaker, but ah, yeah, I now get your hang-up about guys who tuck their t- shirts into jeans with a belt.) 

Comments

[Bethany Pax]

I must say that I'm impressed with the head count thus far - even if you are counting two months as one. And that 007 story in hilarious. He may have had a PhD from MIT but he was obviously lacking in social intelligence. Good luck with the other 5 on the list.

[Jane]

Thanks! Yes, the head count is going well. It's going to get really crazy when I start actually dating more than one guy at once...I'm not so great with names! I told my 007 story over the weekend and I think every girl there had an equally horrible story to tell. Too much!

Thanks for reading.
p.s. - Jamie's date went well, but I'll get the most recent scoop from her and let you know for sure. :)