iPod set to Blondie's, Call Me
At two minutes till nine tonight I exited the subway and
immediately called to my friend Jamie to say that we got tickets to see her
favorite band. Yes, it would be
with Monkey Wrench and his friend, but
his friend was married so Jamie will get the night off from me pimping her
out. My excitement was contained
however, when right away I got her voice mail. Next I returned a call to Lisa from back home, but she was passed
out after some church event you go to when you have kids and live in the
South. (Church on a Wednesday
night?!) One last try to my
married friend Jen and…no dice. I
did eventually get in touch with Tera, but she’s a single gal on the dating
scene and was driving back from her current dude’s apartment. (Plus it’s an hour behind NYC where she
lives.) Where is everyone?
I knew I wouldn’t get married early and did imagine being
the last of my friends, but I never thought it would come to this. I was supposed to get that magical
feeling of wanting to join my life with another person and create a home and a
family. But right now I just want
someone who is around after ten o’clock!
Is this so much to ask?
When the rest of the world has shut down it’s freakin’ boring! Where are these people? I have things to say, plans to make,
sales to tell them about!
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Well, think about it at least. J
Top Ten Reasons to Get Married
1. The singles crowd
is dying.
2. I’ve finished all
the Find Him, Get Him and Keep
Him books at Barnes and Noble and I need a
reason for the Marry Him, Loath
Him and Love Him Again
books.
3. When people tell
stories about their kids and spouses I’ll no longer have to compare them to
stories about my pet lizard. “Oh
my gosh, little Muppet did something just like that the other week!”
4. I’d be able to
drone out a real good, “I knooooooooow!” at a party with the other women.
5. Couples are only
interesting if you’re a couple too.
6. I always wanted
to know everyone’s birthday and anniversary—doesn’t that magically happen once
you’re a wife?
7. When two people
live in the same apartment there’s a possibility you weren’t the one who forgot
to feed the cat this morning (read: for the past two days).
8. Someone to talk
to; no one answers their phone past ten o’clock anymore.
9. No more making up
reasons for having a nervous breakdown.
10. Dear God, never
ever again with the Internet dating!
Recent Comments