I'M WITH YOU "IT" GIRL

iPod set to Katy Perry’s, Hot ‘n Cold

 

Someone stole my boyfriend and left a clone in his place and when I find out who did it…I’m going to ask them to hold on to the original! 

 

Monkey Wrench is and always has been a considerate boyfriend; rare, but true.  He is after all, a boy though and when I met him I knew he was a boy who was still single—single and in his late 30s!  Now lets face it…you can be a nice, successful, good looking girl in your 30s and still be looking for a good guy.  It’s possible.  But if you’re a guy and you want to be married…you’re married.  So when I started dating Monkey Wrench I had a dozen excuses on why he wasn’t married, but let’s face it…he wasn’t married because HE hadn’t asked anyone yet.  Why, indecision and fear otherwise known as Commitment Phobia.

 

We just got back together a few weeks ago, but our breakup situation had been an odd one.  It started with one of those “time to open up” conversations where I needed to talk about something that had been bothering me.  I think I was worried that I wasn’t paying for enough things or something ridiculous like that.  (The previous ex had burned me by turning my generosity into his own private piggy-bank so in response I stopped paying for most anything in my next relationship--with Monkey Wrench--and needed to readjust a bit but didn’t know how to do it.)  But instead of talking about money we curve balled into a full blown therapy session about “feelings”.  Oy! 

 

Well, being the all-or-nothing girl that I am when I didn’t hear I was the eye of the tiger and that he wasn’t 150% about us, I split.  (Ok, I split, then he split, then we split.)  It was just your normal healthy multi-week event of back and forth.  Most importantly it sent him into his natural tendency of indecision.  To best some it up you’ll have to listen to Katy Perry’s hit song, Hot ‘n Cold. 

 

I just started reading a Blog called Dear "It" Girl and there’s a post about the up-and-down /hot-and-cold syndrome that is going around the male population.  In summary her advice is…RUN!!! 

 

Wouldn’t you know, that’s what I did!  Eventually.  But I did.  And although 99% of these cases end in the runner finding a Mr. Right in their future, well, my past came back…sort of. 

 

Something must have happened during those months we were apart and I don’t for the life of me know what it could have been.  Because the Monkey Wrench I left…he was up, he was down, he was in, he was out, he was all over the place.  I’m surprised the poor guy didn’t give himself whiplash!  He just had no idea what he wanted, who he was, where he wanted to go or how to get there.  A mess!  (not so unlike most New Yorkers, yes, but hey…I’m just sayin’.)

 

So that’s what I swore I did not want in my next relationship.  Enter Monkey Wrench’s clone.  After this past weekend of five solid days spending every moment together we rolled back into my Brooklyn apartment on Tuesday night.  Wednesday morning I was leaving for work and he looks over and says, “So, when will I see you again?”  I almost looked behind me to see who else was in the room.  I mean really?  Could it be?  The old Monkey Wrench would be all freaked out like a mouse caught in a cage without a door racing around to find his way out shouting “Viva La Cad!”.  This guy, the clone, he was as cool as a cucumber.  He was so cool, I started looking for the door….get me outta here, there’s a clone in my home!